lunes, enero 18, 2016

I'd rather be gone.

I'd rather be gone and cry alone, than telling people I'm not doing ok and bothering them.


Sometimes you need to be away from the world to see who really notices. 
To see who won't wait for you to text or call them, and instead will ask you how are you feeling. 
To see who noticed you haven't texted or called them during the day, and misses talking to you. 

But sometimes you also want them to notice you're not doing fine. You're acting different. You're not the same anymore. 
Sometimes you just want them to ask you "Are you ok?" all of the sudden, and reply being 100% honest with a "No, I'm not ok." 
Sometimes you want to be asked how you are instead of being always the one asking and keeping an eye on everyone, just to make sure they're all fine. 
Sometimes you just want to be hold. To feel arms around you. To feel like that loneliness, which your mind is creating, going away. 

But deep down you don't want them to leave. It's like being selfish, I think. I'm not sure. You don't want to talk to them, you want them to talk to you, and to notice you're not ok. But deep down you know if you keep doing this they will end up leaving.

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